Monday, November 17, 2003
a splittin headache...thats wat i'm havin rite now @ 2.10am Monday mornin...cant sleep...had a tiff wif Sen over somethin we didnt see eye to eye with....i'm drained...tired...lost...numb...cant describe it...met someone whom i hadnt met fer a long time...my so called Godma...talked to her fer almost two hrs...i was surprised durin d talk i was able to compose myslef...n not break down...Ma...i'm so tired...been smokin like dunno wat...fags r my bestfriend now...hahah...should i cry??should i laff??or jus keep mump??i tot i could handle watever was to happen yesterday morn...i handled it well @ d begining...tilll i jus broke...i broke...broke down...cant take it any longer...i'm tired fightin this battle...Sha i'm tired...i'm so so drained...i cant sleep i cant eat...i cant even ease my mind...Sen how i wish we jus get married n leave evrythin else...migrate somewhere wif my family...start anew...live life fresh...how i wish i can do that....GOD u've shown me how great u r...i dun wan wealth...i dun wan money..pls gimme back wat i had yrs ago....how i wish i can jus take my stuffs n jus go out partyin like there's no tomorrow...but i thought to myself...even after d party i had...i will still b face wif this big obstacle..partyin dun solve anythin...a crab teaching its son to walk straight wat a joke...is life a joke??is this a joke??a joke dat had gone too far??GOD knows how i feel now...n d tiff dat i help doesnt help me...it lowers down my morale..my energy to fight...my strength to live my Monday...ai yah...so complex...wat a bitch...a bitch will always b a bitch...lets fly to d moon i'm typin rubbish...i cant think straight...my throat's sore from all dat talkin n smoke dat i'd been inhalin...pain pls go away...hey u pls fly away..ur ruinin me...fuckin s...i hope Sen understand that i m not him n he is not me...wat he gone thru last time is jus not d same as wat i'm goin thru now...i'm 22...gettin married next yr...great mum..sis n bro..but such a lame dad...i wonder wat d future holds fer me...ok i'll go...too tired lah...in fact very very tiredariessen @ 2:25 AM
//married to Sen//luvs Mama Nana Dada n Papa//sits on TJ n Shad//life revolves ard family//dependent on mum n i dun care wat other ppl would said//iMan n ayubee// prefers flats n pumps//njoyin life wif my love ones now//
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